Weekend Flash

Where did this 3-day weekend go?  I got all of my grad-work done, the house was clean but is now it’s a mess again, one movie splurge, no naps, no laundry done, and it’s damn 9 o’clock! WTH? 

Yeah there’s a bunch of other honey do’s in there that got done and more that didn’t, but today I was so busy I didn’t get to eat my first meal until dang 730p.  It was protein-shake Monday folks. And only 20oz of water. Not good, not good. 

9-days to go… Man if it goes as fast as the last three days have… I tell you, I’m having dreams about it. I don’t know if it’s nerves or my Amandalyzing brain.  I AM nervous I am going back to work too quick- even if I am still in my home and just at a desk/PC.  Nothing I can do about that though… At least if I have to lay down for 5-10 minutes, I can. 

So the pre-op diet is now a breeze. Getting past day 1 and 2 was the rough part, now it’s easy-peezy. And I’m not even nervous about the 2-day liquid part.  I can do a protein shake every 3-4 hours no problem, if today was any good indication. 

So, I went in my closet today to grab some jeans to help the hubby corral some cows (literally) and I tried to put on 2 pair before I finally found one that barely fit.  (There’s more than one reason I live in yoga pants and long t-shirts folks) I just stood there in my closet for a minute and got excited that soon, soon, most of this shit will be too big for me.  

THANK. GOD.  

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Chew chew chew

Ok, I don’t hear a lot of folks talk too much about the pre-op diet, but let me tell you about my day one experience.

It. Was. Fucking. Hard. (For me anyways)

I am practicing the whole chew chew chew thing and waiting a minute and a half between bites— that’s a long damn time when you’re starving!  My stomach must be the size of a watermelon because I have seriously been very hungry all day long. It’s funny, I really didn’t realize how little I chew my food before I start to swallow until today. If you’re still a good bit out from surgery I would highly recommend starting to practice that now.  

I have heard a bit about taste buds changing after surgery. I have like 5 cases of shakes so I hope they’re still good to me post-surgery.

Ode to my nightly glass of wine….I wish I didn’t still have a bottle in the house! It will be a hostess gift this weekend, I’m certain.

So wish me luck on my next 13 days of this… It will so worth it though! I stepped out of the car tonight to talk to a distant neighbor who hasn’t seen me in awhile. First thing she asked me is if I’m still going to the gym all the time…. Um, yeah but thanks for making it so obvious you don’t believe me lady.  I can’t wait until I step out of the car in 6 months and she chews on her tongue.

A minute and a half, lady!

Exposure

I can’t believe I’m putting myself out here like this – I feel SO exposed! But as you can see why I had the case of the “uglys” yesterday, here are some Now pictures of me to show you what I’m working towards changing. 

Please be sensitive and do NOT pin to Pinterest!
So…. here I am-unedited. And Yes I’m wearing underwear in that last one, they’re just nude colored. Lordy I can’t wait until these are “before” pictures….

So on a side -and happier note – got my letter today! My chart is officially in the medical director’s hands for final clearance, as they say. I’m sure they will have no problem taking my money, especially considering I have no underlying health concerns. Let’s now just hope I get the surgery date I’m shooting for. Timing is everything for me for the next couple of months.  Isn’t it always though? Still, I feel as excited today as if I had actually gotten a surgery date, for some reason.

Headed to GNC today to see if they have sample packets of some of the different kinds of protein shakes. I will hate to buy a $50 tub of stuff that just tastes terrible. 

Speaking of food funerals, (oh we weren’t?)  I’m being terrible. I said adios to weight watchers Monday because it hasn’t worked anyway. And because I know I’m going to be on my two-week diet soon, and post-surgery healthy only food forever – I’ve kind of been going a little overboard with the food funerals over the course of this week.  Is it bad that I don’t feel apologetic about it either? I’m not going to totally binge or anything, but I’m just not counting points anymore, that’s for sure.  

That’s it for now… *gulp* I’m hitting “Post” now….

BFF Dinner

So tonight I had an awesome food funeral (Chipotle-need I say more?) with my best friend and broke the news of my decision to have sleeve surgery. As expected, she was very supportive and loving! God love her!  We decided my nightly glass of wine will then have to be a shot glass 🙂 (once alcohol is allowed of course).

So the drama with my clearance letter from my doctor continues. He had issues with wording – long story – and I still don’t know if he’s going to write it. I’m stewing over the issue, and trying, trying to be patient and give it another day. Every day is a delay and I’m really shooting for a 9/16 date with the surgery center. If I can get that dang letter in this week I have a chance.

So great way to end a trying day… Cross your fingers I get that letter tomorrow friends…

In the thick of it

There have only been a few short periods in my life when I have not been overweight. Those brief periods were never longer than two years and still, I could not manage to keep the weight off. Now, fair’s fair – when I was thin I did not exercise. My true reality check – I have a horrible relationship with food. I’m a total binge eater. And aside from my obvious pants size, I hide my binge eating well.

I’ve tried all of the fad diets. I do CrossFit three times a week. I also started doing yoga, C25K training, Weight Watchers, and I even got myself a personal trainer. Granted, I don’t do any of these activities well – it’s not graceful and is quite painful to pound 240 lbs around – but I work it out as best as I can, purple faced and breathing as if I were in an enclosed coffin searching for oxygen. And that’s after the warm-up… Still, I’m working it people.

The scale hasn’t moved but a few pounds in all of this time. Weight Watchers is just not working for me and I am working too damn hard to not be seeing results. So enough is enough. I need another tool…

After months of deliberating with myself, weighing the pro’s and con’s, agonizing over taking on this kind of debt, and researching the procedure, I have decided that I am going to have the Gastric Sleeve Surgery. I found some blogs on folks who had this procedure. YouTube has been a great resource too. But I am sharing this journey in hopes of finding others like me, helping others who struggle with their weight and fitness, giving the skinny from decision to incision, and for having a little fun while I’m finding the “skinny” me.