6 Month Sleevaversary

Well that came way too fast. What a month! I’ve been here, there, and everywhere it seems. I have to say I was surprised, yet not really, with my results this month.  I mean I have been in the scale every day, I know how much it’s not moving, no matter how much I seem to run. My therapist reminded me this week that I am on medication that causes significant weight gain…I’m now at a point where my body is likely fighting that chemistry. Well yay. Terrific. So happy about that reality check…really ­čśĺ

So without further ado…drum roll

Month 6: 

  • Weight loss: -3.4 lbs (Wa Wa Wummm)
  • Inches loss: -6″ (cha Ching!)

Loss to date:

  • Weight: -65.6 lbs (An average 9 year old)
  • Inches: -39.75″ (the height of an average 5 year old)

On the inches perspective I am seriously making some major progress and I am happy. I can really see a difference in my body. In fact, when my husband and I started dating I was 14 lbs lighter than my current weight and both of us agree that I actually look slimmer now than I did at 160! Go figure, eh?

NSV (because those are what I have to focus on at this rate)

  • I am in a size 12 pant and a medium top. Woot!
  • My running gets better every day. I’m still focused and getting more diciplined in this area. Crossfit is back on in June or earlier. Nervous about that but very excited to see the dramatic changes that are sure to come from adding that back into my life. 
  • See inches lost above ­čść
  • The only loose skin I seem to have right now is in my upper arms. It’s not bad, but very noticeable to me. Hoping CF will reduce this. It will either help it or make it look worse…
  • Vegas was amazeballs and I felt like I looked like a rockstar. I felt so pretty! Hubs thought I looked boo-koo hot too. 
  • We walked the strip for hours and I didn’t get tired in the slightest. 
  • I showed my ‘before’ picture to my co-worker and she said she would never have guessed it was the same person. That makes two of us, sweet lady.
  • I ordered a new bathing suit and it’s not BLACK!  And it has an open back! (Hope it looks good on…).
  • I’ve been sun bathing naked (I live on a 30 acre farm, no one can see me) and I don’t feel embarrassed about it in the least. 
  • I can maneuver much better in the bedroom and I don’t have to close my eyes the whole time for fear of seeing myself. (TMI, I know but this is a biggie for me).
  • The kids can wrap their arms around me when they hug me and then some.
  • Kids still having a hard time recognizing me when I call for them in public. This one never fails to crack me up. 
  • I am diligently taking my vitamins every day!

So, I still need to get more diciplined with meal planning. Not so much for food choices as much as it is for proper nourishment and protein intake. I still don’t think I’m getting enough each day. 

With the exception of meal planning I am doing well with my goals. Why the scale isn’t really moving hardly, it is clear I am still making great progress. My body’s just shaking itself out, I think. Not sure if I will ever see 140 but I will continue to stay focused and maybe the scale will start moving again. Let’s pray!

Much love sleevers!! Xoxo

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Moving on down

So I have finally, finally broke the scale freeze and it’s moving. Slowly, by inches, but at least it’s not 178.4 any more! It’s 173.8. Whew-thought I’d never see the damn thing move again…

Honesty Check:

  • Still not meal planning. But I am making mostly good choices. 
  • I am running well. I get better every time. I can now run a whole 2 mile stretch without having to stop and walk for a minute or two.

I am getting ready for Vegas this weekend and am so excited I can barely sleep.  I have a crappy cold I can’t shake though-been hanging on over a week now. I am just hoping it will clear up before Friday…
I’m so pissed at work right now I could spit. So my performance review was amazeballs “you are amazing g and exceeding all expectation and your metrics are through the roof” BUT I am considered a new employee for a year. So the best rating possible for me because of my time is “progressing”. Which only entitles me to 50% of my annual bonus. And it will be prorated at that. Worse-just got the email tonight that of course bonus payouts are over 100% for every other fucking rating above ‘progressing’. Excuse my language but isn’t that just a salt rub on the stab wound? I could really have used my entitlement this year folks. I have surgery loans to pay off!

Ok there’s my rant for the evening… Xoxox 

5 Month Sleevaversary 

I have mixed feelings about the numbers this month. Here are the stats:

  • HW: 240
  • Pre-surgery: -9.2
  • Month 1: -22
  • Month 2: -9.6
  • Month 3: -9.2
  • Month 4: -7.6
  • Month 5: -4.2
  • Total Loss To Date: -61.8

We all know the scale has been stuck for me this month, to my utter frustration! And we all know I’ve been off my game this month due to major stress and life events.  I shouldn’t be surprised at only a 4.2 loss – I guess I should be happy I lost any at all. But really, 4.2 lbs?! Plus I was really hoping I’d be in the 160’s by Vegas-which is 2 weeks away. *sigh* that’s not going to happen. 

The reason I have mixed emotions about this is because of my measurements. They came in surprisingly decent. I’ve lost a total of 7.5 inches this month alone. Here are my grand totals since surgery: 35.25 inches!!!

  
I feel smaller. Husband says I feel smaller too.  It’s SO hard not to compare myself to other sleevers, some are miles ahead of me at 5 months!

Ok, so I am not going to ho-hum anymore about the numbers, so I’ll just get on with just a couple NSV’s (not a whole lot since last post).

  • I’m wearing a lot of medium tops now like t-shirts and such. 
  • I think I’m in a 12 pants. Some are still pretty tight but others fit just fine. Depends on the brand, but I’m counting it!
  • My running has definitely gone up a notch since last month. I can run a whole 1.5 miles without having to stop and walk. And then I only have to walk a couple of minutes and can then run a 10 minute stretch again. My minute/mile run has improved by almost 3 minutes!
  • Work is going fabulous! Remember I changed careers last May…Seriously I’m doing so well I’m worried about falling off this mountain I’m on. But I’m totally focused, so I’ll just be staying right here, if you please. 

Goals for this month:

  • Meal planning. I must I must I must. 
  • Get back to tracking my nutrients in MFP. 
  • I have two 5ks before my 6mo surgaversary and I’m hoping to finish at least one of them at 40mins or less. (This may be ambitious).
  • I really need to start doing strength training again. I don’t go back to cross-fit until June so I have to get more diciplined in this area. Debating calling my personal trainer for sessions until then. It’s so expensive though…
  • 10+ lbs this month. 

I have a myriad of other goals for myself this month but these listed are specific to my WLS journey. I am really up for honing in on myself this month and for months to come. 2016 is the year of me! I hope for each of you it’s a year of you too!

Xoxo

Re-set OVER

I woke up this morning to some serious-I mean serious-hunger pains. Too many days of just liquids…I believe my pouch re-set is officially over. I have not had the energy to run since Monday and I really need to train. 

In case anybody’s wondering-all of this and I only dropped a pound. Not that I was doing it to get the scale moving at all, I just find it interesting. The whole point was to get my body cleansed and my pouch healed. Hopefully mission accomplished so now it’s time to meal plan and be on track again. Because if I continue I feel like I’m being counter-intuitive if I just don’t have the energy to work out too.   I do have to admit it was a good mental exercise, oddly enough. I was controlling what went into my mouth again, instead of mindless, emotional or stress eating. So, back on track. 

I’m coming up on my 5 month surgaversary and with this month being so low on the SV’s I want to focus heavily on the few NSV’s I’ve had. 

  • Knowing I’m going to Vegas in 3 weeks I was rummaging through my closet for some work clothes. I have a ton, I’ve worked in a corporate office my whole career until this last year. Unfortunately, everything I tried on was way too big and not something I would want to wear to an annual Summit meeting where I finally get to meet my peers in person. I do have a couple of dresses I could get away with, but I really don’t want to sit in meetings all day in a dress. So off to the store for some slacks-and a new pair of nice jeans (for the casual dinner the night before).
  • My yoga pants have officially become ‘sweat pants’ as they are not fitted anymore. The fold over flap doesn’t mess up when I sit anymore either-the band stays put. Yay!
  • Now I am too nervous to try on the gold dress I bought for Vegas again yet, But I did get the other dress I ordered for Vegas and it fits perfect and I look amazing in it! It’s SO comfortable too-bonus!
  • I can run a whole 1.5 miles without having to stop and walk! When I started I couldn’t run .2 miles without having to walk! Very excited about that. 
  • This one is random, but I finally found the perfect shade of daring lipstick.  I know, I said it was random. 
  • Lots of work-related NSV’s but I won’t bore you with details on those. But things are really going great there and I’m getting a lot of positive recognition.

With that I am now going to make myself a good hearty and healthy breakfast! Xoxo

Not Hiding

So I come to you all a little vulnerable tonight. Whatever my reasons, which are in no way shape or form good ones, my eating habits lately have fallen off a cliff. 

As I write I am curled into a ball on the floor of my sanctuary, writhing in pain from what must be over-indulgence today. I have received the clear message from my pouch that it is NOT happy and that I did it to her.  So I have spent some time really thinking about what I’ve eaten today and then taken a backwards looks at the last few weeks. In all honestly I would have to guess that 20% of the time I ate like I should; 80% not the best choices have been made.  I need to take back control, yesterday. 

Ive been reading bariatric forums on doing a “reset” on your pouch. One is 5 days and one is 10 days. Both resemble my post-op plan just reduced down to days rather than weeks. I think I’m going to do this starting right in the morning. Clear, full, mushy, bland solids shredded. Then back to the correct SOP. I really feel that this will reset my pouch and detox me of all of the sugars and carbs. I am pretty sure I’m going to do the 10. Better now than do more damage to my precious pouch. 

So send little prayers my way to keep me strong as I know the next 10 days will test me to the fullest. But it must be done.  

Anyone else had to do something similar to keep yourself on track or just make sure your pouch doesn’t get stretched? How’d it go?

Good week

So it’s been a crazy good week! On top of some awesome stuff that happened at work, getting my final grade and overall GPA (which I’m happy with the result), and starting a second blog – I have had my personal best runs yet this week AND I’m getting my eating back on track! And the scale moved!!  I’ve lost 2 lbs this week!  So it seems all of the listed above are my NSVs and SV for this week, huh? Yes! 

I’ve been reading a good bit this week too, which let me tell you, has been wonderful! I haven’t read a good book for pleasure in a very very long time. I get immersed in books so I couldn’t let myself read while I was in school, my attention would have been devoted to my book and not my tasks or text book. So it was a discipline to just not read pleasure books. Now that I am reading what I want to read, it has been exciting in and of itself!

Thank you for all of you who have visited me at The Road, I really appreciate it! As you can gather, it’s been a week of major self reflection too. All part of the journey to not only give myself better physical health, but mental strength and emotional stabilization too.  Loving this whole path I’m on!  I really am gettin it all around. It’s revitalizing! 

Looking forward to a kick butt weekend too. I’m going on a long run on the pavement tomorrow while the kiddo is at lacrosse practice. Getting myself ready for my first/next race of many scheduled on the 27th – which is kind of a hard one and a little intimidating to step back into, but it’ll go great. I’m more interested in the finish for this one, not necessarily my best race time.  I’m positive I will be y’all up to date on my progress throughout. ­čśü

  

Time to Train

Did I mention school is over? Yes well…

Guess what that means? Time to up my training game!  I’m doing a number of 5Ks over the next four months to make sure I stay nice and motivated (those entry fees add up!) So even if I only put in 2 miles one or two times a weeks I’m still making sure I’m getting 12-15 miles a week from here on. Started today with actually my best run yet. I think my yoga class last night made a difference today. 

I have to admit, I’m dreading it and am excited about it all at the same time. I only dread it now because I’m still not good at it. Not yet. But I will be. Mark my words, I’m going to get there darn it! I am going to run a 5k non stop by my mid-May race or I’m banned from Amazon for the rest of the year! Ha! (That’s serious incentive for me)

My scale is still stuck. I have stayed between 180.2-180.8 for three. full. weeks. I’m not truly freaking about it yet because I know my exercise has been so sporadic these last weeks.  So, now that I am focused on my running again and adding in the strength training, I know I’ll see that sucker start to move again in a week or so. If not, well I guess you’ll hear my angst then.  One thing I am worried about though is fitting into that one fabulous dress I bought for Vegas next month…

Here’s to a week full of NSV’s to all of us!!! 

Thirsty Thursday

 

There’s a whole pool of water!! gimme gimmie!!

Have you ever been SO thirsty that you just could not drink enough water to quench it no matter how much you drank?

Let me tell you what that kind of day means to a sleeved person. Because I had that kind of day today. 

Sip, sip, sip.  But you can only sip, sip, sip up to 4-6ozs.  After that it has no where to go – but to come back up apparently. 

I tied swish, swish, swich to see if that helped my thirsty self. Didn’t help. So, in an effort not to dehydrate myself any further by throwing up more than I was taking in, I really just kind of had to be miserable all day and drink in hour increments. Even then I wasnt filling the tank too much. Needless to say I didn’t eat much today.  I needed water more than food today, I promise. 
What’s my body trying to tell me? I have been good getting my fluids in over the last couple of week, like-really good-so I don’t see how I could just be dehydrated? This usually happens in the early phases of post-op, but I’m over 4 months in. Does anyone me have some notion?  Google just tells me I have cancer and bariatric web boards just seem to be early post ops having a hard time getting fluids in. 

Man I hope I’m not this overwhelmingly thirsty tomorrow! I’ll try Popsicles and sonic Ice chips to help if so. 

Ramblings

I have no particular train of thought to share tonight. More like a random trail of what’s-on my-very-over-worked-brain tonight…

Had to take my car in for repairs today. Let me just tell you, the only warranty I believe in and will vehemently recommend to everyone I know, is the extended warranty on a car.  Seriously, it has paid for itself 4x over.  I found out I have only 2000 more miles to go before mine’s up. Can I get a “whew and thank you Jesus!”  And I’m trying to see if there’s such a thing as an extended extended warranty because I’m buying!

I have thought it was Thursday All. Freaking. Day.  It’s not. 

I have 5, five days of school left. Work is mad busy. So my bum hurts from sitting in my office chair for 16+ hours a day for the last week. And days since I last ran…10…I’m doing a run on Saturday dang it, my paper can wait an hour or two!

My scale is still stuck at 180.2.  What the what is happening here…I had a total freak out last night in my head about all of this. What if I fail? What if I stay at this weight for good? What if I gain all of my weight back? Blah blah blah. I was in a total dark place. Husband made a very good point about it though. He said I have battled my weight my whole life and it’s just crazy to think that fear is just going to go away. So true!

My pants are hanging off of me. Husband has started calling me “droopy drawers”. (Yes we’re southern). I need to get in my closet next week and see if I have any smaller pant sizes in there. Good problem to have…

I’m sure that, due to my stress level being so high right now, I am fighting major food battles.  All I can say is, thank heavens I work from home and have no crap food in the house!

I am SO looking forward to Tuesday. That is when I officially get back my Sunday’s, Monday nights and Thursday nights back!  I am going to train so hard!! And get back to meal planning! 

And writing much more-interesting-than-this blog posts. ­čśť