The Impossible 

Hello! Hope everyone is enjoying a great weekend and have a day full of possibilities on this Sunday!  I like to wake up extra early on Sundays before the rest of the house, just so I can reflect and enjoy the quiet before church. 

I have to be in Vegas the Sunday after my birthday in March. So my husband I are going to fly in early together and make it a weekend getaway-which we haven’t had in eons. I’m so very excited! Work and my mom (she booked us a suite off the strip as my present) made it possible for us to do this. I’m so thankful! And did I mention excited? The one and only time I’ve been to Vegas I saw the inside of a convention center and then got the flu and spent, what was supposed to be a great weekend with my friends, instead on a mattress in a hotel room with 102+ fever. Blech! 

So I found this amazing dress online that I thought would be PERFECT for the first night on the town, in which we have already booked a night club tour.  (Which in itself is totally crazy to me because my husband is SO not a nightcluber!). I like to dance so I love them.  This is THE perfect dress! 

 

Isn’t this just gorgeous?!
 
I got the dress in the mail yesterday (so love Amazon) and tried it on last night.  It doesn’t quite fit. (Wha wha whaaam)

I was anticipating that it maybe wouldn’t fit now, maybe it would be a little too tight, but maybe by March it would be perfect.  I was able to wiggle it up my body but there was no way it was coming close to zipping up.  And I don’t know if another 25 lbs loss will be enough. Then I really got to thinking…25lbs?! Impossible!

When I started this journey I could not fathom the possibility that I would ever make it to goal weight. “100 lbs is never going to happen”. Not because I didn’t think I’d be successful, I totally thought/think I will be-I just couldn’t really conceive that 100lbs was…well, real.  All of the diets and working out before never got me anywhere but 20lbs maybe…and of course I would gain it back+.  It’s just a surreal thought that 100lbs was/is even a realistic possibility.  And even looking backwards on this last 4 1/2 months, -55 lbs is still like, “impossible” yet it IS real. So you would think that I could conceive of 25 more lbs easy, right? I’m staying on plan, working out and diligent about my training, yet I still feel like I’m lying to myself that another 25lbs is possible. Let alone by March!  Impossible. 

Why am I so programmed to think this way? Do/did anyone feel this way-like a healthier, slimmer you was even possible? “Of course it can happen, but how can that be possible?”  A contridiction of the thought patterns, for sure, but I can’t be the only one…right? <crickets>

Eyes on goal. That’s what I even said to a fellow blogger-just last night! I see the goal, but see a mountain in front of it that I just don’t have the experience needed to climb.  I am training for this climb. Eating, running, strength training… But apparently my brain hasn’t got the memo that I am already climbing this mountain. It seems as if I have some serious brain-speaking to do, and do it every day. 

It’s not impossible. It’s real and it IS possible.  And I’m doing it! Now.

My greatest point here is that physical changes are a side effect. Great ones. But the real mountain I think is the mental aspect of this journey. We all talk about that we can hardly recognize ourselves in the mirror, our skinny shadows, or are blown away by before and now pictures. Me included. And I wonder why each of us are so surprised by these things. We’re fighting for it every day! We are conquering what we thought was impossible. We need to fight with our minds too. We are winning and it’s time for our thoughts to catch up. 

It’s not impossible. Oh the possibilities when I truly live that mentality and it’s not a pep talk anymore….

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Clothes 

  Clothes are going to be easy this fall and winter as I waste away (hopefully). I like billowy shirts for one. They are supposed to be long and flowey (Vera wang style) but really they have just been regular tops for this bigger body. Well, I’m noticing that my flowey shirts are getting more flowey! Yay!! 

So, I just have to invest in a black cardigan. All of my flowey shirts are short sleeved you see.  Another investment are just regular solid crew top long-sleeves. $8 a shirt, no problem. I have a scarf addiction and so glad they’re still in fashion. I found three new awesome ones for the season I just had to get. I think I have jeans that will fit me down to a 14.  So the plan for my fall/winter wardrobe is leggings and flowey shirts with a cardigan or jeans and crew tops with my gorgeous scarves. That will get me through until Spring when I hope to have to start filling in my closet a little more. I may have to get new gym clothes as I shrink up…those things are expensive though so I will be wearing what I have until they’re falling off lol!

One let down I had though… I ordered super cute knee high boots-the scrunch ones-in black and taupe-they were a super deal! $25 pair! I really need new ones- the ones I have are a wreck after 2 seasons. Got them and tried them on today and they will not go over my calves. YET!! Now I just have to keep them off my oldest child who is coveting them since I can’t wear them now. Hmmmm.

So overall it’s a relief I don’t have to get new clothes for awhile. And when I do have to get them for spring and summer, they will be significantly smaller and cuter than this summer’s wardrob. 

I can’t wait!