Before and during

Hello y’all! Great start to the week! Can you BELIEVE Christmas Eve is in 10 days? Where is time going this year-it’s been a very fast year! 

Not too much to talk about today, but wanted to share some pictures- some “before” and “during…” side-by-sides that really blew me away today.  I know I see a difference in the mirror but I also always see something different when I look at pictures of myself. Does anyone else do that? Think, that’s not what I see when I look in the mirror, who Is that woman?  I still think that but at least I see I am making progress. 
   
   
I went to a really fancy Holiday party over the weekend.  Got my hair done in a great bottom cross-braid where it was loose and curled on the side. I felt so pretty. It’s a wonderful thing when a girl gets to be gussied and glamorous out on the town for a night once in awhile. Especially one that works from home sporting yoga pants or workout gear all day and simply (most of the time) brushes her hair. Otherwise it’s a pony tail or messy bun. And I didn’t even have to wear spanxs, the dress flattered enough so I didn’t have to fight with that contraption riding up all night lol. Not a single picture turned out with decent lighting but here’s these I thought I would share

   
    
 
Fun fun with show and tell.

Remember the ankle I rolled last weekend so bad? I did a very light run this morning and all seemed fine. Until I got off and the day progressed. My ankle is swollen, painful to the touch, and making me limp by this hour. I really am hoping to avoid x-rays.  More than anything I want to get back to my training. It’s clear I have to find other routines until this heals. Huge set-back from my goal of running a full 5k without walking by March 4th.  We’ll see how long this keeps running halted. Got to stay positive.

Been back on track with eating. Tonight I made this great healthy chicken and bean chile that was so good my husband ate all of what was supposed to be my lunch tomorrow :(. Oh well, I’ll throw one together again tomorrow. I’ll post it my recipes page soon. 

So I may have taken 3 steps back in following the program but I know I’ve at minimum taken 1.5 steps forward this week to reclaim. Would be better if the ankle wasn’t bad. So strength  training and modified Insanity here I come. 

Well that’s it for me tonight. Hope you are all doing well!

Xoxo

Miss me?

Helloooooo blogosphere! I have been keeping up with each of you, but have been lax in posting myself! Honestly I have been just racked these last weeks-SO ridiculously busy!  And I really haven’t had any stellar ideas about what I wanted to talk about…

So here are the stats to date:

Bad, bad me!

For shame on me!  I have eaten so awful today! I’ve been so incredibly stressed and overwhelmed at work- I love my job but training is a year long for a reason! Anyway I broke down and cried twice today. 

Uh, yeah…um, back to the food part. Well I kicked off the day bea-u-tifuly – I finally got through my whole circuit of C25k training early this morning. I pushed hard and got through it, even though it was my second attempt. I did it and was seriously doing the happy dance (after I could breathe again of course). That’s where my success for the day (on all accounts, but we’ll stick to the food) ended. 

First of all I let myself get starved because of my very busy schedule today. Half protein shake, run, water, half hour later, rest of protein shake.  Then nada for like 5 hours.  I had to run an errand today and was absolutely ready to eat a horse by the time I was finished.   And like a beacon –I see the Golden Arches. And who the hell’s idea was it to serve breakfast all day anyway?  Yes. I ate half a bacon egg and cheese biscuit. 

I’m not done. 

So that was the last time I ate and it was like 2 o’clock. Fast forward to 8 o’clock and I’ve been so busy I haven’t eaten or drank a bite. I don’t think my ass left my office chair at all…There was no way I was cooking for the family tonight-no way I could– I had school work still yet to do after I finally called work quits at 7. So I ordered pizza for them. For them. 

Annnnnd…I come out of my office to sign for the pizza and can NOT stop myself-I ate a tiny piece of pepperoni and bacon pizza. I was so freaking hungry and will power after all the crying and stress of today…yeah…it was a goners. 

Ok. So dust off the weakness, strive not to do it again, and start over tomorrow. It’s all I can do. 

*sigh*

Tuesday’s Musings

Happy Tuesday!

So I finally broke down today after a talk I had with a friend and made an appointment with my doctor’s office for Friday.  I had already taken the day off so I was glad to get in.  I asked to only see the nutritionist this time, so maybe they will actually see me in less than a 30 minute wait.  I refuse to be there more than two hours waiting to be called again!  If that happens I can assure you I’m hunting a new doctor that is more respectful of my time.  Will update on that.

I’ve been logging everything that goes into my mouth via MFP and maintaining my nutrient ratios and calorie intake.  Some days I’m a little over on carbs, but not by too much.  It mostly stems from fruit or my indulgence of cream of wheat some days.  Hey it’s packed with iron!  I seem to be right around 80g average a day on the protein.

Once again I’m stalled.  Which is having its effects on my motivation.  Annnnd I’ll just leave that topic there, because there’s no point in whining about my frustrations with this 2+ week stall – again.

I’m spending a good deal of time reflecting on the things that I am thankful for this month.  I know a lot of people like to take the month of November and do this.  I think it’s a good thing, and I started a couple of years ago.

Geez, I think about where I was a little over a year ago and am just blown away that I’m in the place that I am today.  My marriage has flipped upside-down (in the best way),  I finally took the leap and started a new career that I specifically wanted and managed to land, I’m almost done with my Master’s degree, I took this great big step for my health with VSG, and my relationship with God continues to grow every day.  It’s AMAZING how things can look so bleak one day and then be golden the very next.  Well, maybe not the next day, but all of the dramatic changes in my life are still so fresh and mind-blowing.

So, I’m just going to revel in my happiness and thankfulness this month and try not to worry about the scale.

More to come soon…

-XOXO

Food is Psychological

My husband just does NOT understand. 

  
He’s one of those who can eat and eat and eat and not worry about it. Let’s also add that he walks about 6-7 miles a day on his job. Weight for him has never ever been a battle and he love love loves food. 

We met family tonight from out of town for dinner. At a pizza joint. I asked him if I had to go (I knew it was going to be torture for me-I’m just not quite there yet). He made a big deal about it so, of course I went. 

I ended up eating a about a 1/4 of a chicken Cesar salad wrap which was really delicious. But I was really really thirsty the whole time and of course couldn’t drink anything. And surrounded by such ooie-gooie goodness of pizza and garlic knots all around me. I was miserable. I was really trying not to be – just ignore the food and carry on… But really I was.

My husband got a little pissy with me after we left and was like, what is wrong with you-you’re acting all bleh and down!  

Really. He just doesn’t understand. And I guess he won’t for as long as I am not used to this either. 

Other than being thirsty as everything, I was satisfied with my meal. Just, I don’t know, maybe the feeling of being forbidden from something..??

I keep correcting everyone that knows when they say “can you have that?”  My answer is “I can have anything I want, I just choose to make a better choice.”  Making those choices are definitely forced right now, true. 

I am excited for the day when they are natural choices and not a psychological battle. 

NSV- today I am able to get my wedding band off! I haven’t been able to get it off in almost a year! Woo hoo! 🙂

Progression 

Well it’s mid-week and so far I’ve kicked some butt already. I think…

I have been religiously logging everything that goes in my mouth in My Fitness Pal. I probably spent an hour+ going through everything in the app, logging goals, linking my Fitbit, upgrading to Premium… It really has paid off. I am getting a really good idea of what I’m getting in and where I need to adjust. Having this visibility is everything!  Really helping me a lot!  Thanks for all of the advice y’all!

I am hoping I broke the 2 lb yo-yo cycle this morning.  I was down a pound from my lowest log overall, breaking the stall (I truly hope) of a week and a half. I am really hoping this trend continues. Im officially 7 weeks post-op today and am down 25.6 lbs. Not where I thought I would be, I really feel like I should be around 35-40 lbs by now. I just keep telling myself to be more patient. That my skin will be able to keep up better if it comes off slower…. Whatever, just start dropping already! Grrrr…

Sorry, carrying on…

So I started Insanity Max 30 today. Holy Shit!! Annnnd that about covers it! I think I almost died, but I plowed through it. Day-dreaming of the day I can do all of these videos without modifications and can keep up the whole time. Bring it! Now if I can C25k early in the am and then Insanity at lunch time I’ll be in a really good place. Either way, one or both get done each day, so that’s progress. (I finally admitted to my husband I bought the Insanity program. So glad he wasn’t upset about the price tag.  Love his continued support!)

Overall I think my emotions are still pretty low, but not as bad as last week. I am still really frustrated and have to continually talk to myself to not get too low. But I feel like maybe this week I’m on the upper end of being being low-if that makes any sense.  I’m really trying and see that I am doing all of the things I’m supposed to (ok I still need to do better with fluids) but overall I am making a little more progress every day.

Comparing myself to others is hard not to do. I know we as a community talk about this topic a lot, but–we are the only litmus we have for this process.  Progress, wins, failures, tips, advice… That’s exactly what we share with each other in a very intimate way through this blogo-sphere home. So…how do we not compare with one another? I’m so proud of each of us for taking this step-myself included in that-and I want to be in the ‘success’ circle… And so I just need to make sure I am a success. In my daily activities, my eating, my fitness, and my psychological health.  All of it. 

Well, I’m a work in progress…and I’m glad I’m at least progressing. 

-Xoxo

Let’s try again tomorrow

 
What a Monday! It all started when I woke up too late to C25k! Had to take the oldest to pediatrician this morning-which started my workday off late and hence- no break to hit the treadmill at lunch…

So nervous-but grand news-I finished and turned in my final paper for the worlds more horrific class tonight. Hopefully I passed this time (yes, I failed my first attempt by 1.23 points. No, I’m not kidding). Will be nail-biting until I get that final grade later this week.  And TWO-count ’em-TWO classes left before I’m done with formal education forever! Thank you Jesus! (I’ll be thankful until those student loan payments roll in- holy hell…) Now my qualifications match the job I have, so no specific raise to be expected as a result of finishing grad school. *sigh*

So, the moral of the story here is I did not get a workout in today. Boo! 

But I did make a 3-meal crockpot dish tonight and will throw another one on tomorrow so I am set for the week on food. I am determined to get better about logging in My Fitness Pal. I will do great for a couple of days and then stop, then do great, then… So that’s another goal for this week.

I am really looking forward to my 5k in two and three weeks.  I really feel like I’m going to kill it. Planning to run 2:1 intervals for the actual race-not run the C25k app on the phone. Plus- they’re going to be FUN! The one on the 7th is a glow-in-the-dark race and the one on the 14th is a race in Christmas Lights. How fun do those sound, right?  So training is mucho-importante right now for sure! 

So here’s to tomorrow- dust today off the shoulders and get back on the wagon bright and early! 

Have a kick-butt kind of Tuesday y’all! Xoxo

Weekend Whirlwind

My what a weekend! I had planned to get in a C25K training session in either Saturday or Sunday (better yet both?) but that did NOT happen. To that end I planned to clean my house too, but only was able to get half of it done. 

Two lacrosse games right in the middle of both days, running the oldest to and from a drama competition over an hour away, a fundraiser last night and helping my son with a HUGE project- this gal is souped! And no training was squeezed into any of that!  (I probably could have woken up earlier this morning to train but snuggling under the covers seemed like a much more important endeavor…)

I’m looking forward to a very positive week. That scale is going to move, by George!  I have to say my attitude is in the right place!  Seeing those list inches really jazzed me up!  

  
I haven’t been able to plan my week menu yet. This really is a sticking point with me- I really have to figure out what I will be eating everyday or I just don’t eat and we all know that’s not a good plan! So I’m planned through lunch tomorrow and will be planning the rest of my week’s menu then. 

Looking forward to a great week! Hope you all are looking forward to the same! 

See y’all tomorrow! Xoxo

Manic Monday 

What a great day! Ok, so don’t judge by the name of this post-I’m not really manic right now (I don’t think) but I have had a very good and very productive day!

  • I ate my planned foods on time today and took all of my vitamins!
  • Threw dinner for the fam in the crockpot (barely) in time.
  • I did my C25K training-TWICE! Got up at 530a and did it, got a hair up my arse and did it again at 230. And I did 2 more running stretches than the plan called for the second round too.  
  • I ordered my Insanity Max 30 DVDs!
  • Also-got massive (public) kudos from the boss man on my kick-ass performance Q3.  Yay me! 
  • Got all my school work done by 7 so I had time to spend with the family before bed-time!
  • I’m on a mission to get out of debt as soon as possible, so I’m starting a Dave Ramsy book tonight to get me on my way.   

I gained 2 lbs over the weekend, not sure how that happened. But I’m taking it in stride.

So all in all- stellar freaking day!  

How was your Monday?